is, again, time for the Oscars. We've been bombarded with propaganda from the Oscars for almost a month now. MBC and One TV (a chain of the Emirates) have been engaged since January to cover the Oscars live. It seems as if all the interviews and programs of the past week had been on the Oscars-Barbara Walters, Oprah, Inside Edition, Entertainment Tonight, an endless stream of nominees and analysts.
Now that I've seen the nominees-we see them all the years I have come to a conclusion: Iraqis need a gala awards. While Hollywood stars are good entertaining, our local superstars, Hakeem, Jaffari, Talabani, Allawi et al. are GREAT entertainers. This past year has seen the development of several dramas and our local politicians have us hooked!
So, not surpassed by Barbara Walters and Oprah Winfrey, we present the Oscars of Baghdad Burning Special! Except for our awards suggest changing the name of the Oscar statuette to something more local and family (Oscar is too similar to the pronunciation of the Arabic word "Iskar" which means "drunk", so if we use "Oscar" I fear the show is hijacked by Sadr's religious militia, so that would suggest "Savid Awards)."
Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, we present the nominees for Sayid Awards 2006!
Nominees for Best Actor:
Ibraheim Al-Jaffari
in "Free Iraqi Elections" for its attempt to portray the Prime Minister of a "legitimate" Iraqi government and independent non-sectarian. George W.
Bush,
, in "OIF: The War on Terror." The third installment of the original "Operation Iraqi Freedom Iraq: Weapons of Mass Destruction "and" Operation Iraqi Freedom: Liberating Iraqis. " Bush's nomination is due to its compelling incarnation as president of the world's first mentally disabled.
Bayan Baqir Solagh in "The House of Torture" for his performance in the world as the surprised and indignant Iraqi Minister of Interior over the scandal of the torture house.
Abdul Aziz Al Hakeem in "Men in Black (turbans)"
, as the deeply devout Mullah pretending to be independent of their teachers Iran.
Mihsan Abdul Hameed in "Sway" for his accurate portrayal of a slaughter and pro-war, then suddenly anti-war and anti-occupation Sunni politician.
Nominated for Best Actress:
Condi Rice "Viva Iran" as the vicious Secretary of State in the charade to stop Iran's program of nuclear power (in spite of Iranian control of Iraq.)
Nominees for Best Supporting Actor:
Jalal Talbani, in "President Kaka (Kaka = Kurdish word meaning" brother ") his attempt to make the leadership role "legitimate" the New Iraq (and although technically he's the star of the film, he was nominated as best supporting actor as the PM has managed to put in the spotlight all year.
Dick Cheney in "OIF: The War on Terror" for his role as the devoted, fanatical VP and his relentless insistence that all is well in Iraq.
Muqtada Al Sadr in "Viva Iran" as the Young, charismatic and black turbaned leader of the militia dedicated to protecting Iran from harm and to promote tolerance between Sunnis and Shiites (although the Sadr militia is responsible for vandalism and attacks against Sunnis and secular).
Scott McClellan in "OIF: The War on Terror" and "Denial" best known for his ability to keep his face unmoved while reading press releases from the White House.
Nominated for Special Effects:
Ahmed Al Chalabi in "Law disappearing" for his magnificent evaporation of the Iraqi political scene this year. Mr. Chalabi is a master of illusion and received a previous nomination for his disappearance from Jordan in "The Petra Bank Scandal."
Best Production:
"OIF: The War on Terror" (originally titled "My Father's War") produced by the Washington neocons, including Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, etc.
"Iraqis Free Elections" - produced (and directed) by Abdul Aziz Al Hakeem et al and his army (almost literally) of supporters (the Badristas).
Best action film:
"OIF: The War on Terror" starring George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Condi Rice and others. An insistent drama set in Iraq. Rated "G" by gullibility and "R" by "Republican"
"Disappearing Act" starring Ahmed Al Chalabi, Adnan Al Pachachi and Ghazi Al Yawir.
"Free Iraqi Elections" - a black comedy based on the incredible theory of free elections under foreign occupation led by Abdul Aziz Al Hakeem, Ibraheim Al Jaffari and Muqtada Al Sadr.
"Kangaroo Court" - starring Saddam Hussein, Barzan Hassan and several judges, prosecutors and lawyers.
Many special mentions:
First and foremost an honorable mention to them that Bush's speechwriters. Should be the job difficult in the world write notes to make Bush sound / look not great or even good, but passable. It must also be a challenge having to write speeches using words of two syllables or less.
A special mention to the Saudis for their support to Sunni extremists and Wahabis, the Iranians for their support to Shiite extremists, and the Americans for their support of chaos.
And while our "glietterati" Green Zone retire to their camps to celebrate their great victory, Iraqis wonder what wonderful new film opportunities ahead. There is much talk of working in a "Bombshell" - in the staging of the pre-production of more psychological thriller this year announced "Iraqi Civil War" .
- posted by river @ 2:50 a.m.
Now that I've seen the nominees-we see them all the years I have come to a conclusion: Iraqis need a gala awards. While Hollywood stars are good entertaining, our local superstars, Hakeem, Jaffari, Talabani, Allawi et al. are GREAT entertainers. This past year has seen the development of several dramas and our local politicians have us hooked!
So, not surpassed by Barbara Walters and Oprah Winfrey, we present the Oscars of Baghdad Burning Special! Except for our awards suggest changing the name of the Oscar statuette to something more local and family (Oscar is too similar to the pronunciation of the Arabic word "Iskar" which means "drunk", so if we use "Oscar" I fear the show is hijacked by Sadr's religious militia, so that would suggest "Savid Awards)."
Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, we present the nominees for Sayid Awards 2006!
Nominees for Best Actor:
Ibraheim Al-Jaffari
in "Free Iraqi Elections" for its attempt to portray the Prime Minister of a "legitimate" Iraqi government and independent non-sectarian. George W. Bush,
, in "OIF: The War on Terror." The third installment of the original "Operation Iraqi Freedom Iraq: Weapons of Mass Destruction "and" Operation Iraqi Freedom: Liberating Iraqis. " Bush's nomination is due to its compelling incarnation as president of the world's first mentally disabled.
Bayan Baqir Solagh in "The House of Torture" for his performance in the world as the surprised and indignant Iraqi Minister of Interior over the scandal of the torture house.
Abdul Aziz Al Hakeem in "Men in Black (turbans)"
, as the deeply devout Mullah pretending to be independent of their teachers Iran.
Mihsan Abdul Hameed in "Sway" for his accurate portrayal of a slaughter and pro-war, then suddenly anti-war and anti-occupation Sunni politician. Nominated for Best Actress:
Condi Rice "Viva Iran" as the vicious Secretary of State in the charade to stop Iran's program of nuclear power (in spite of Iranian control of Iraq.)
Nominees for Best Supporting Actor:
Jalal Talbani, in "President Kaka (Kaka = Kurdish word meaning" brother ") his attempt to make the leadership role "legitimate" the New Iraq (and although technically he's the star of the film, he was nominated as best supporting actor as the PM has managed to put in the spotlight all year.
Dick Cheney in "OIF: The War on Terror" for his role as the devoted, fanatical VP and his relentless insistence that all is well in Iraq.
Muqtada Al Sadr in "Viva Iran" as the Young, charismatic and black turbaned leader of the militia dedicated to protecting Iran from harm and to promote tolerance between Sunnis and Shiites (although the Sadr militia is responsible for vandalism and attacks against Sunnis and secular).
Scott McClellan in "OIF: The War on Terror" and "Denial" best known for his ability to keep his face unmoved while reading press releases from the White House.
Nominated for Special Effects:
Ahmed Al Chalabi in "Law disappearing" for his magnificent evaporation of the Iraqi political scene this year. Mr. Chalabi is a master of illusion and received a previous nomination for his disappearance from Jordan in "The Petra Bank Scandal."
Best Production:
"OIF: The War on Terror" (originally titled "My Father's War") produced by the Washington neocons, including Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, etc.
"Iraqis Free Elections" - produced (and directed) by Abdul Aziz Al Hakeem et al and his army (almost literally) of supporters (the Badristas).
Best action film:
"OIF: The War on Terror" starring George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Condi Rice and others. An insistent drama set in Iraq. Rated "G" by gullibility and "R" by "Republican"
"Disappearing Act" starring Ahmed Al Chalabi, Adnan Al Pachachi and Ghazi Al Yawir.
"Free Iraqi Elections" - a black comedy based on the incredible theory of free elections under foreign occupation led by Abdul Aziz Al Hakeem, Ibraheim Al Jaffari and Muqtada Al Sadr.
"Kangaroo Court" - starring Saddam Hussein, Barzan Hassan and several judges, prosecutors and lawyers.
Many special mentions:
First and foremost an honorable mention to them that Bush's speechwriters. Should be the job difficult in the world write notes to make Bush sound / look not great or even good, but passable. It must also be a challenge having to write speeches using words of two syllables or less.
A special mention to the Saudis for their support to Sunni extremists and Wahabis, the Iranians for their support to Shiite extremists, and the Americans for their support of chaos.
And while our "glietterati" Green Zone retire to their camps to celebrate their great victory, Iraqis wonder what wonderful new film opportunities ahead. There is much talk of working in a "Bombshell" - in the staging of the pre-production of more psychological thriller this year announced "Iraqi Civil War" .
- posted by river @ 2:50 a.m.
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